Brandon and Becky

One Year

2010-11-16T19:33:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to our sweet Caden!

(we made it through the first year)

Can't stop smiling when I look at this.

My good friend Maribeth Youngberg graciously agreed to taking Cade's one year photos. Don't quite think she knew what she was getting herself into. Caden was a nightmare! But by the looks of the photos you never would have guessed. Thank you so much Maribeth. You dealt with a lot of stress, crying, and Brandon and I trying not to scream at each other. :) I owe you. Who would have thought that taking pictures would be so stressful.

Here are a few things I love about my little guy:

I love how he never stops smiling. He even smiles in between sobs of crying. He is such a happy boy!

I love it when I open the door on Monday after work and he speed crawls over to me and won’t let me put him down for the rest of the night.

I love his giggle.

I love how he peaks through his fingers when we are playing peekaboo.

I love how he waddles like a penguin when he walks.

I love that he keeps me company when I run.

I love that he is always such a good tag a long. Wherever I go he goes and he’s always happy. I haul him all around the city with friends and he rarely cries. I don’t think outings with friends would be the same without Caden. I think everyone would agree.

I love that he calls his ball his “mama.”

I love his chubby belly. So cute in tight footy pjs

I love that his hair is always poking strait up (may be my fault I never comb it)

I love how he always claps when I sing.

And most importantly I love that he loves me no matter what.

"Excuse me, I'm trying to read my card from grandma would you leave me alone. "

Wherever Caden goes there is a smile. A smile on his face and a smile on the faces of those in his presence. I get butterflies in my stomach every Monday on my way home from work when I realize I’m going home to see him. We are so lucky to have him in our family. Happy Birthday Caden. We love you!

Party Animal

2010-10-29T07:40:00.001-07:00

As I was running with Brandon yesterday (maybe the only time I spend with him as of late) I looked at him and said, "I think this is the best fall season I've had." And not just since we've been in New York but ever! I have thoroughly enjoyed it. A co-worker told me it was because I have a child, and to tell you the truth I think that may be part of it. That and not having to be stressed with work and school. I have absolutely loved these last couple of months!

I was thinking about what we've done this month and Caden has been a little, "party animal." First off my mom came to visit for a week which was absolutely fabulous! We decided to take advantage of the her company and the warm weather so we rented a car and had some fun. Friday night we went to something called the Jack o'lantern Blaze. It is a Halloween event that features more than 4,000 hand-carved Jack o'lanterns. You meander through this 18th century riverside landscape full of Jack o'lanters. BEEEEAUTIFUL! I was so giddy. So unfortunately I didn't get any good pictures (no talent on my end), but my friend Maribeth went a couple weeks after us and got some wonderful photos. If you want to look, check out her blog. Promise they'll put a smile on your face.

http://theyounglovebergs.blogspot.com/2010/10/blazing-saddles.html

Only photo I got that turned out at the blaze. Hence the link to Maribeth's blog. Which by the way, the 2 gals in that photo together, probably 2 of the most beautiful girls I know. Wouldn't you agree? And seriously they are both more beautiful inside than out. May sound cheesy but it's true, really amazing women!

Anyways, then we went apple picking the next day and it was just delightful. Mom, I know you have no idea how to access my blog but if you ever figure it out. Thanks for visiting, it made my month. :)

Apple Orchard

Alright the rest of the month has been fun too. After tomorrow Caden will have attended 3 Halloween parties this month. Oh my goodness, I love little kids in costumes, they are so dang cute! On top of that we've gotten together with friends a lot just enjoying the weather and season. So fun. I'm sorry if this happiness is making you sick.

I've really noticed how good it is for Cade to be around other kids. He loves it. They may not love it like he does because he bangs on their heads and grabs at their eyeballs but it's fun to watch the little ones interact.

Caden and little ladybug Xela.

Okay couldn't resist posting this picture of the Xan man. Seriously amazing costume huh? Brandon left before they showed up so I had to take this picture to show him. Caden will wear that someday according to Brandon. He LOVED it, and so did I. Just look at him?

Well just thought I'd post my happy feelings towards Autumn and Halloween. Hope you've enjoyed it as much as the Mennears have. Have a great Halloween weekend!

My Little BIG Man

2010-08-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

Kind of a picture overload. Gotta get my family off my back. Oh and Brandon's gone for a month doing a rotation in Houston, so he would love to see photos of his son. Anyways, family and friends, this is Caden. Can't believe he is almost 9 months old. I have a friend that will take some more professional pictures soon, but until then these will have to do. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Cade with his Aunt Kris

This and That

2010-04-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd give you a little update on the life of the Mennears. Here are some pictures and some explanations of what we do daily:

1)Well I am back to work(well have been for 3 months) usually just Mondays but I fill in every now and again for people going on vacations. I Love my job. Mostly because I love the people I work with. I have truly made the most amazing friends. We are all so different but have so so much fun together. So the struggle here though is Caden!! I need advice. The dang kid decided he won't take a bottle anymore. Grrr!!! He's taken one daily since birth and a month ago decided he was done. I've tried everything. He screams, gags, spits up, squirms. My poor babysitter thinks she's about to kill him he cries so hard. No worries though. He is spoiled. Andrea who watches him, walks him up to me at work EVERY Monday. We sit at a park. I feed him on my lunch break and then back to work I go. Now most would say when he's hungry enough he'll eat. That is probably true BUT I feel too bad to have the babysitter and the neighbors listen to him scream all day and when I'm not being consistent is it fair to do that? His schedule is only like this on Monday. So if there are any tips send them my way.Luckily oatmeal is starting to satisfy some of his needs. None the less I am so crazy about him.

2) Caden and I go on daily runs together. I grab my running stroller and off to the park we go. We both LOVE it. It might seem weird but I don't think I'd love running without Caden. He's good company.

3) We try to be home so we can see Brandon for 30 minutes at lunch and dinner. He is studying for the first step of his medical boards. Literally and I am not exaggerating in the least, he leaves the house by 8:30 am and returns at 11:30 pm. If anyone is interested in hanging out, call me I won't let you down.Love this picture. I needed Brandon to watch Caden while I fixed dinner. Apparently he had some reading to do so he multi-tasked. Whatever entertains him though right?

4) Play dates. Supposedly for the kids, but I think they are more for the moms. I always enjoy getting together and chatting. The kids here are all close to the same age. We had to keep them separated. They'd roll over each other then claw each other in the face. Very fun though. Seriously as all New Yorkers know, Central Park is a Safe Haven.
Hope this isn't a sign of things to come, Caden between the cute girls. Haha.

5) Last and unfortunately, cleaning. Cant avoid that.

Well that in a nutshell just about sums our life up. I can't even explain how much I love being a mother. So different yet so amazing! Kids really bring more joy than I ever imagined.

Caden!!!

2010-02-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

So I am a terrible blogger but I thought I'd post some pictures of Caden. He has gotten quite big in the last few months. I just put on a 3-6 month romper and it looks like he's ready for a flood. It goes to his knees. I think he may be tall like his dad. Anyways I tried to be these in order from youngest to oldest but who knows, close enough.

Caden with his cousins burklee and Cellan.

Blessing day. My mom, uncle and grandparents.
Christmas!

Bath time at Grandma's.

Caden ready for church.

He is here!!!

2009-11-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

Well our little guy is finally here, 3 weeks early and a little unexpected, but here and healthy! He was 6 lb 4 oz and 19 inches and absolutely beautiful! His name is Caden Charles Mennear. Here is our story:

So since I was about 20 weeks along I have been going and having growth ultrasounds once a month due to the high risk pregnancy. Starting at 32 weeks I have been having Non-stress tests done bi-weekly. The doctor was keeping close tabs on us.

So this last Friday I went in for the sonogram, an NST, and I had a doctor's visit. NST was great but slowly each month his growth percentiles have slowly been dwindling on the growth chart, and this time the ultrasound showed the same thing. Finally at this visit the doctor looked at me and said, "we are not waiting until 39 weeks I'm going to be honest I'm getting worried." Well if she was concerned so was I. I called Brandon who was a bit stressed because he had his last final that day, I think he was quite overwhelmed but he finished his final and we had a baby.

The delivery for the most part was uneventful. So grateful for that. I was in absolute awe when he came out. I still can't believe he is here and he is real. I am so in love, and dad wow, so is he. Ever since the moment he saw him his heart melted. My mom is here which if she wasn't I'm sure I'd be a basket case. We were not quite ready for Caden to come (not quite is an understatement) so my mom of course has saved the day. Here are some pictures of the cutie.

Last picture of me pregnant. Night we were going in to the hospital.

Dad holding Caden. We definitely had a great view of the East River out our window, don't you think?

First family photo!

Aunt Kristy bought Caden this little dog outfit. 1) I love dogs and 2) I realized I didn't have any newborn clothing, so before my mom came Kristy was off on a hunt for newborn clothing. I have 0-3 months and they drown him. Well here is Caden getting ready for his 1st trip to the pediatrician. I had to dress him up for all my co-workers since I work in this office. Everyone fell in love with him!

Everyone usually gets to post darling pictures of their husbands holding baby and sleeping. I haven't had any of those. No sleeping pictures, only pictures of him holding baby while studying. Every night he grabs Caden while he listens to lectures. Bonding time, Brandon loves it. This particular night Caden was a lot more alert.

More studying!

Getting Closer!!

2009-10-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

I Have been very bad at taking pictures throughout my pregnancy. It's horrible but I see all of these beautiful pregnant women, and then I look in the mirror and think, "Man you aren't the most attractive pregnant female out there," but I don't care our baby thus far is healthy and man I am already crazy in love with him.

He's making buddies already. Everyone at works loves him and talks to him on a regular basis. My good friend Tomiko, seriously crazy but I love her always wants to read him stories in the middle of work. It is so funny. We just laugh at her. She also makes sure to say good morning and good night to him everyday. I love it.

He is also very spoiled. My sister in law sent a suitcase of clothes when my family came to town and then ever since people have been so gracious to us. People here in New York typically don't have as many kids as us Westerners so my co-workers after having 1 child are ready to get rid of there stuff. They have given me so much. I am so grateful!!! Things are so expensive and seriously he'll grow out of everything in a month, so I take it with open arms.

Well here are some pics. I am now a little over 31 weeks, and am planning on delivering at 39 weeks to avoid any previous complications. As of now we are set for the day before Thanksgiving. It will be a crazy journey but we can't wait!!!

Here I am around 29 1/2 weeks.

These last few are between 30 and 31 weeks. Starting to get uncomfortable and exhausted!!

Finally time together!

2009-07-20T17:04:00.001-07:00

So I am going to recap the last few months of our lives. Let us start with Brandon, all he does is study, especially when finals are coming up. I came into the kitchen and saw this. He had cheetos, separated on each slide that he was studying for school. I just laughed and had to grab my camera. He said he was eating the cheetos too fast so he had to pace himself, he could only eat the cheetos on that certain slide he was studying and couldn't move on with the next pile of cheetos until he started the next slide.

He wanted to make sure he didn't eat the whole bag too fast. Hmmm, I guess it isn't too bad of an idea. I guess I could get some tips from him. His friends had a bet when we moved to NY. One thought he would gain weight and tip the scales over 300 lbs, the other thought he would lose a lot of weight. Sorry Jared and Trevor he is about the same, apparently he knows how to eat in moderation!!!!!

Great day for me!!! I just found out I was pregnant and I was getting ready for a job interview. Ended up getting the job and have been working ever since at a pediatric clinic for a group of pediatricians. I think I must need help preparing to be a mom. I work 5 days a week 8 hours a day with children and then on Sunday in the nursery. I told Brandon I'm am going to have to work on my communication with adults because those times are far and few between.

For easter we got together with our neighbors below us and had fondue! It was great!!

Me at my best!

For my birthday Brandon got me tickets to Circus de Soleil. It was amazing!!! I absolutely loved it but it scared me to death to watch. My palms were sweaty and I couldn't even clap I was too nervous someone was going to get hurt. It was a blast.

The summer begins. Brandon is just doing a fellowship this summer and doing research with an orthapedic surgeon. He works 9-5 and then we play. He keeps me busy, and exhausted running around the city but YAY, finally time together. Over the Fourth of July we went to Coney Island.

Couldn't go there without getting a Nathan's hot dog. I on the otherhand went for the corndog and rather enjoyed it.

Brandon going to town on the hotdogs!!!

And the cheese fries!!! I have to admit I dug in right after him.

The next day we hoped on a train and headed to Long Beach in Long Island. We went with some friends and had a great time. It took us some time to get in the water. It was freezing!!!! But by the end we were all in the ocean having a great time!

Melissa and Dustin as we fought through crowds to watch fireworks!

This was the extent of our firework show. Can you see anything? Yeah we couldn't either, tall buildings in NY kind of scew the veiw, I think we'll watch them on tv next year, but it was great to get out!!!

Isn't he cute? I kind of like him!

This past weekend Brandon and I went to Central Park to listen to the Philharmonic Orchestra. There were apparently hundreds of thousands of people there it was so fun. Then after that we went to dinner. Twice a year NYC has what is called restaurant week. A lot of the prestigious more expensive restraunts have a deal where you get a 3 course meal for a lot cheaper. Brandon and I went to Ruth's Chris and had amazing filet mignon. Loved it!!!!

And last but not least we are having a BOY!!!!!! We found out last week and it was such an amazing experience. I came to tears when I saw our little guy moving and his heart beating! I can't even describe how happy and peaceful I felt. It was so incredible. I walked into work and before I even said anything my coworker told me I was glowing, and I was!!! I felt so grateful and so much love that day. It is amazing how my heart immediately was filled with love. Anyways, we are excited and expecting December 2!!!

News from New York!

2009-05-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't posted forever because nothing really new has gone on in our lives here in New York. I go to work and come home and go to bed. Brandon goes to school, studies and sleeps. But lately life has changed up a bit. I go to work, sleep, and lately have had so many doctor's appointments. We are expecting again!!!!! Very exciting news and very scary news at the same time. We are due the beginning of December and hoping everything will go well this time around. I'm just about 12 weeks along. Usually at this point people are seeing their doc for the first time. I've met with my physician 3 times, met with a nurse on 2 different occasions, and met with an ultrasound tech for my 1st trimester sonogram. I've been pretty busy but I'm grateful that everything is being done for us to have this baby.

So for those of you who don't know I have an auto-immune disease called Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. Basically my blood clots a lot more quickly than it is supposed to and that is why we lost our son late in the second trimester last pregnancy. As they examined the placenta it supposedly had several clots so our little guy wasn't getting the oxygen and nutrients he needed.

I am so grateful they found this my first pregnancy. Many women with this have many miscarriages before they discover this problem. As I've researched I've found that without medication the chance of women with this disorder to give birth to a living infant is about 10% each pregnancy. Can I just say that I will be forever be grateful for modern medicine. It is truly an amazing thing.

Well that's about it. I'm giving myself Low molecular Heparin shots daily on top of Baby Aspirin. I'm participating as part of a study with women who have either anti-phospholipid syndrome and/or Lupus. It is the least I can do to try to help physicians become more aware of this disorder and how to continue to treat it so women like myself can have viable pregnancies. Anyways, that is my story. Keep us in your prayers. I pray every night that our son Aidan will help prepare our other children to come down to us. Prayers are answered.

Visitors!

2009-03-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK CITY FUN!!!

Well I posted these pictures backwards so I will have to talk about the trip from the end to the beginning. So my sis came this week with her roommate Mikkel aka (Micky D)which is what I call her. Nickname from our basketball coach in high school, love every minute of her. Also their friend Mel who was so darling. This picture was taken in Little Italy at lunch the day they left. Yes those are tears, Kristy was obviously in tears but Mikkel shed some as well, and of course so did I.

So we went to Mama Mia! Oh my gosh we were all in love. It was AMAZING. Kristy and Mel were on the 1st row and me and Mik were on the 3rd row. The seats were amazing and the show, WOW!!!! Me and Mikkel couldn't stop dancing the whole show! Seriously, go see it.

My little brother came to NYC on The American Heritage Tour with his school. Natalie Barfuss one of his chaperones is like our second mom so she let us steal him for a few hours. It was so good to see him. Love him, he's darling.

So Mel HAD to see Regis and Kelly. Well we didn't have tickets so we had to wait in the "stand by" line for three hours, yes from 6 am to 9 am. It was freezing and getting up at 5 am isn't my thing but it was so fun.

Serendipity of course was a must. Man I probably gained like 10 lbs when these guys were here we ate so much.

So at the Natural History Museum we were getting tired so we had to make some fun. Here is us imitating the animals. Kristy was the winner! Great impression!

My impression not great but everyone else seemed to like it.

Grand Central Station.

Central Park. Great Sunday activity. I thought this was a beautiful picture.

If anyone knows Mikkel she does not dress like this nor does she wear a purse. She went home a true New Yorker. Even bought herself a "Go Go" purse from Chinatown. She got ripped off, we thought it was a Coach knock off at first but it wasn't, anyone heard of GO GO? Mikkel gave into the peer pressure from my sister and I before we really checked the thing out. Funny thing is, she needs one. The first 2o minutes in NYC she lost her wallet. Seriously a miracle she got it back. An honest lady from Queens found it, googled Mik's name, found her work phone number and left a message on Mikkel's work phone. We met the lady that night to get it back. Mikkel you are a lucky girl!

Loved the cannoles. Had to go back twice for these. So good.

Brandon and I at Toys "R" Us. So glad he was able to hang out at the beginning of the trip. We didn't get to see him much at the end because he had a big test today. He was studying like crazy. The girls felt so bad for him because they didn't know it was possible to study as much as he does. Welcome to my world ladies! Welcome to Medical School! It was nice to have company.

Kristy and I hanging out while Brandon was shopping. But of course he always leaves empty handed. That's my husband for you. Gotta love him.

First day out. Let the fun begin. Thanks Kristy, Mikkel, and Mel for coming. The house is already more lonely and empty without all your suitcases. Come anytime, it was a blast. I absolutely love the watch you brought me. Thank you so much!!!

Home for the Holidays

2009-01-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

So I thought I'd give a little update on the holidays. First of all my wreath that I am so proud of. Our ward for enrichment has made homemade wreaths as a tradition for years and years. People talk about this activity for a months before Christmas. Now, I am so not artistic but this activity was a blast and I have to show off my wreath. There were real pine wreaths, holly berry, pine cones, tree ornaments, and ribbon. It was great!

So of course I had to put up a picture of the Rockefeller tree and ice skating. My brother and his friend came to visit and we went at the perfect time. The snow was coming down and it was beautiful. The picture of the 3 of us, not so flattering but it was freeeeezing!!!

So Brandon got to Poky about 6:00 am on his birthday. He was exhausted but it was a great gift for him to be home away from studying for a couple of weeks. And again notice my bubble letters on Brandon's Birthday Poster. For me this is good!

Christmas morning, Brandon very happy.

While at home Brandon's little sis got married. Here are a few of the pictures of the reception.

And last but not least a picture of my darling nephew, Ammon. Brandon left Poky a week before I did to start school. So the Friday before I left, Ammon took me on a date. He is so stinking cute. He came to the door with a rose in his hand. When I opened the door he said, "Will you go on a date with me," I couldn't stop smiling he is so cute. Jeff and Amber my brother and sister-in-law said he was walking around the house all evening with rose in hand practicing his speech. It was a great, and he took me to Sandpiper. I definitely could not complain. Well actually once during the "date" he yelled at me for laughing at him. Afterwords I tried to explain to him you don't yell at girls on a date, it is rude. Yeah, I don't think he was listening but I tried.

I told Brandon he had a lot to live up to when I returned home or Ammon would show him up. I guess the talk helped because I got home at like 10:30 at night and Brandon had a candle light dinner ready for me. Gosh I have been getting some special treatment lately. He got me daisys which I love and made spagetti and meatballs. Seriously he needs to cook more often because it was better than anything I had made lately. Anyways that is about it, now I've been brought back to reality where I am looking for a job. But at least I made many good memories. Thanks Ammon and Brandon for my dates. I love you guys!!!

Test Results

2008-12-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

To say these past 2 months have been a roller coaster is an understatement. Brandon and I have gone through some hard times and I joke around and say we will be happy to have a break for a month or 2. Last week after a month of waiting we went back to the doctor's office to get the results of any findings of the cause of the miscarriage. The doctor told me they had discovered that I had several blood clots in my placenta. I think it was pretty obvious that this was the cause because they opted not to do the autopsy. This news was so bittersweet. When they told me, at first I was relieved. As far as they know he was healthy, he just was not getting the blood he needed. Then I got home and I lost it. First I just missed him like crazy. Then I got thinking. I felt awful that I had this perfect baby (as far as we knew) but that I did not provide for him. He wasn't getting what he needed from me. I was not really blaming myself but at the same time it just hurt. It was my body that was the problem not his. Then I couldn't help wonder if he suffered.

After discovering this they ran a number of tests on me. I called the office yesterday and the physician said after studying the labs they have concluded that I have something called Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome. The physician did not go into too many details on the phone and I will meet with my doctors when I return to NY but I have researched this a little bit. I have to say again the results were bittersweet. It's good because we can hopefully treat it, but at the same time it scares me to death because every subsequent pregnancy will be a high risk pregnancy. So anyways what i have discovered is that my blood contains antibodies against specific types of phospholipids. This causes tiny clots in my blood that increases the tendency toward blood clots. So one article I read said if untreated infant loss may exceed 90%. The article said if treated the losses can be reduced to 25%. Still quite a bit higher than I would like but so much better, and who knows. This was one article. Wow!! I was so glad they decided to run tests. At first the physicians said that they usually do not run tests unless a women has subsequent miscarriages. I am so grateful they did this.

I am happy to say my doctor okayed us to start trying again if when we are ready . She advised me to start taking baby aspirin daily and when I get a positive pregnancy test I will give myself Heparin or Lovenox shots daily. When I get back I will be a busy girl. I have to meet back at this high risk OB clinic for further instruction and testing. I have to meet with a GI specialist to follow up on the Celiac Disease and then eventually I will meet with a Rheumatologist to discuss this blood disorder. Kind of crazy everything I have learned about myself from this pregnancy. I thought I was a pretty healthy girl 3 months ago. Hmmm, I've learned a lot about myself. I joke around with my parents and tell them that their genes together are not a good match, or at least I've ended up with some of the bad genes. Anyways, hopefully this was not too boring but kind of the center of what has been going on in our lives. It is so good to be home in Idaho. Brandon is coming tonight and so relieved to be done with his 1st semester of medical school. He called me today after his last final and was just ecstatic. It felt so good for him to be done. I am so proud of what he has accomplished. He spent many of hours with me in the hospital and many hours holding and comforting me when I cried. He was so strong for me when deep down inside I know his heart ached for his son and his wife and I know he was fearful for getting so far behind in school. I love him so much and finally get to spend time with him over the break. YAY!!!

Christmas in New York!

2008-12-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

I have been looking forward to Christmas in New York since we moved here and it is absolutely all it's cracked up to be! It is so beautiful here and we have been so fortunate to share this time with family. Sarah and Sterling were here last week and my brother and his girlfriend are coming next week. I think it was kind of a small miracle that both Brandon's brother and my brother chose to come a month after I miscarried. Family was exactly what we needed. The love and support has been amazing and I needed Sterling here to drag me around the city to get things off my mind and bring my spirits up. Although I had a few small melt downs while Sterling and Sarah were here (thanks Sarah and Ster for dealing with me) I would have to say Brandon and I are doing exceptionally better than I had anticipated and things only get better each day. We are definitely full of hope.

So I realize I didn't take too many pictures because I figured Sterling would, and Sarah will probably post some of the amazing photos he took, but here are some of the sub par photos Brandon and I took.

Here is us on the boat ride over to the Statue of Liberty
Group photo that we were hoping to have the Statue of Liberty in, but no complaints at least someone was willing to take the picture in the first place.
Brandon, Sarah, and Sterling chose to go to the Macy's Day Parade. I on the other hand was home in bed. I'm the party pooper of the family. My excuse was that I was too tired from the nonstop day before, which was absolutely true.
Thanksgiving dinner with family, friends, and the sister missionaries. First time cooking dinner. Sarah and I made homemade stuffing and yams. I have to say for first timers, dinner was a hit.

This was at the Bronx zoo. This was me the whole time except when I was freaking out over the cute animals. Brandon was in class and being the nice wife I am I had to make sure he wasn't missing out. I was sending him texts and pictures the whole time. Pretty sure he was sick of me and ignoring me on purpose.
Okay so this is a chubby Kangaroo. I loved him so much. I kept telling Sarah I have a hard time at zoos because we can only look and I just wanted to hold all the animals. She thought I was crazy.

So I realize now I wrote about how perfect Christmas in NY is and didn't take any pictures of it. I'll try to get some when my brother comes next week. Hope everyone is having a great holiday season!

Thank You

2008-11-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

I have been absolutely dreading doing this post, but I know eventually I would have to write something to explain what is going on in our lives. A week ago today Brandon and I found out that we lost our sweet little angel, Aidan. I went in for a doctor's visit and they found that his little heart had stopped. They do not know why and it is actually quite rare for him being 23 weeks along, but I have to realize that God has a higher plan that we don't understand.

Since then it feels like my heart has stopped. I feel like it is broken in a million pieces and I can't put it back together. It is amazing the love a mother can have for an unborn child. The love I feel for Aidan is stronger than anything I can explain through words. He truly is our little angel.

At this time I am so thankful for the gospel in our lives. The power of prayer has been absolutely amazing. Although the pain has yet to go away, the peace Brandon and I have felt is a peace that only comes from God. We know that we are getting through every hour of this trial only because of all the prayers that have been said in our behalf and we want to thank you for them.

On Saturday we went in for the induction. I was so so afraid for this part. I was afraid to see my baby and have to let him go. I would almost panic every time I thought of doing so. This experience was the exact opposite of what I thought it would be. I have never been so calm and at peace in my life.This feeling of peace is absolutely indescribable. Right now I am at a loss of words trying to explain how Brandon and I felt. The Lord was truly at our side and we feel like our little angel was there comforting us as well. He was absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I have already shared this poem with a lot of you but for the rest of you that haven't read it I want to share it. A friend shared this with me who has gone through this same experience and it touched me and has comforted me.

Mommy I'm Here

Mommy I know this day wasn't what you had planned,
But I'm right here beside you, holding your hand.
My spirit has already gone, there's so much work to do,
But our Father let me come today so i could comfort you.
I know you and Daddy love me, and it's hard to see me go,
But that is why we're sent to earth, so we can learn and grow.
I wish I could stay with you here and play with my brother too,
But for now I'll have to wait until your missions are though.
I'll be near when you need me to wipe away your tears,
to hold you tight and kiss your cheeks and chase away your fears.
And on the day our Father calls you to come home
I'll be right there to get you, you'll never be alone.

-Deanne Taylor

I truly felt like we were not alone through this experience and I know that our little Aidan has a higher purpose with our Heavenly Father. Although at times I feel bitter and angry I pray everyday for an understanding and peace.

So this is what has happened this last week. We go in next Thursday to try to get some answers and test results. The physicians ordered a lot of labs on me and on Aidan. They did an autopsy on him as well as some chromosomal studies. They are also studying the placenta which I guess the lady that does this is one of the best in the world. I'm not so worried as to what happened to Aidan as I am about preventing it from happening again. I know that he has a higher purpose at this time.

I just want to thank everyone again for the never ending love, support, and prayers. We have truly been blessed with the best family and friends anyone could ask for. I am thankful for a health-care team that has been absolutely phenomenal. I had nurses that truly comforted me beyond anything that is imaginable. I can only aspire to be a nurse like them. My eyes have been opened to the suffering that many families face and trials that are beyond anything that I have faced. I can only be grateful for the lessons I have learned and pray for those who have it much harder. Thank you again for the love and support.

WEEK AT THE HOSPITAL

2008-11-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

So Brandon will be studying all night so I thought this would be a good night to write about our last month, crazy! People know I was sick but not so many know details so I thought I'd share. So 4 weeks ago Tuesday I woke up having excruciating pain in my upper abd and my back. I was also vomiting and couldn't eat. So that night I gave in and went to the ER, STUPID. I was there 7 hours by myself in a crazy busy hospital. People were laying everywhere, there were more people in the halls than in the rooms. I was crying practically the last 2 hours. You know it's bad when other patients are checking on you. Anyways they sent me home with pain pills. Slowly I started getting better, then on Sunday morning I crashed. I didn't sleep all night. I woke up bawling, couldn't stop pacing and even having a drink of water made me throw up. At that point Brandon was nervous and wouldn't leave me to go to church. I tried to sleep for 2 hours after taking 2 heavy narcotics but the pain wouldn't stop. Finally we went to L&D. And the fun begins. After 4 hours they decide to admit me. My labs were normal but the pain was not and my blood pressure was through the roof. Because I was pregnant there was no way they'd let me go home. So little did I know I would be in the hospital the next 7 days. They transfered me from the High Risk Antepartum floor to the recovery room in L&D. Several times my BP got so high they'd rush me to Labor and Delivery where i could have 1 on 1 care. That made me nervous because being a nurse I know when they do stuff like that they aren't messing around and are nervous. Well luckily the first 5 out of7 days I was very sedated with heavy narcartics. They were probably running anywhere between 10-15 labs a day, doing CAT scans, x-rays, sonograms of my abd, and an upper endoscopy which was absolutely miserable. Other than that I'd sleep, wake up vomit all the acid in my stomach, rip out all the tubes in my arms and waddle to the bathroom. That's all i did everyday, oh and count the minutes until I could have pain meds again.

I saw probably 20 physicians a day. My OB told me that probably every team of physicians in this hospital was on my case. I saw the OBs. the medical docs, the GI docs and the surgeons. One intern told me I had the best surgeon in this hospital stumped. Gosh that was reassuring. Okay we're almost done. Day 5 i woke up and by abd was huge. I looked 10 months pregnant and you could not see my belly button. I was so swollen. I hadn't eaten for 6 days and had gained 15 lbs. They did an xray which was pretty inconclusive. The surgeon said he and the radiologist looked at it for an hour. There was an obstruction and my bowels were stretched pretty thin. They didn't know what the obstruction was due to though. After that they did 3 enemas. Not to be gross but it was the most miserble, painful thing i have ever done. Fortunately after this I slowly got better. They discharged me on Sunday and at this point my mother had arrived which was the best thing that could have happened to me. I returned to L&D 2 days later due to more excruciating pain. I remember sitting on the bed on the phone with my dad bawling saying, "I can't handle this pain 1 more day." He assured me I wouldn't receive more than I could handle. It was amazing because the next day the pain was gone. I felt wonderful physically but then crashed emotionally. Poor Brandon and my mom. I found out that I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It's pretty much an allergy to gluten, the protein in wheat, rye, barley, and oats. It has been an adjustment. I got home and truly there was nothing in my house I could eat, and I hadn't eaten for 7 days. I was starving. My mom came to the rescue and dragged me around NY finding foods I could eat. It has been hard but people go through so much worse and I'm glad this is something I can treat. It will be a learning process. Plus it is unknown to me how, but somehow this baby of ours survived this nightmare. He is definitely a survivor and meant for our family. I just want to thank friends and family for the flowers, cards, phone calls, prayers, and fasting. It truly saved us. I cried after every message I listened to on my phone. I was seriously so touched by how many people care. So anyways that was our October. Brandon is still struggling to catch up in school, but we've been blessed so far, I know he'll be okay.

Photos of life in New York

2008-10-31T13:24:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post a few random pictures of New York. Here are 2 pictures at Central Park. Sterling helped move us across the country (which I will forever be grateful for, thanks so so much Ster) and then him and Brandon did a little sight seeing.

Brandon at his White Coat Ceremony.
As part of orientation Brandon went camping for 3 days with a lot of his classmates. The random group of 10 or so people he ended up with have become so of his best friends in his class.

The Beginining

2008-10-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

Well I've decided it would be a good idea for Brandon and I to start a blog. I've been so lazy and just haven't done it. I truly have no excuses because I am not working and have entirely too much time on my hands. So here I am. Stacy you better read these posts because you are the one that has been bugging me to do this. It will be good for me though, and I'm excited to share our lives here in New York City with our family and friends. I'll try to give a little update later with pictures etc. but as for now I'm going to try to figure this thing out. I'm so absolutely un-artistic (if that is even a word) so my layout is not going to be cute like everyone elses. Just thought I'd give you a forewarning. Anyways here I go.